| 10 Best Movies of '09 (in order) | 10 Worst Movies of '09 (in order) |
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Sunday, January 3, 2010
Best & Worst Movies of 2009
Monday, November 2, 2009
REVIEW: The Fourth Kind
![]() | STARRING: Milla Jovovich |
The Fourth Kind centers on Dr. Abigail Tyler (Milla Jovovich), a psychologist in the small town of Nome, Alaska. It seems this town’s residents have disappeared under mysterious circumstances since back in the ‘60s. In the present day, Dr. Tyler begins to see a string of traumatized patients who being to detail similar incidents of alien abduction while under hypnosis. Throughout the film we see dramatizations mixed with “actual archival footage”. This means we see interviews with the “real” Dr. Abigail Tyler and footage of her patients interspersed with interviews of Milla as Dr. Tyler and other actors playing her patients. Eventually Dr. Tyler herself is on the couch with her own alien abduction story to tell.
In theory it is a good idea to creep people out with this idea of mixing spooky "actual footage" into a movie. But in this case the execution is horrible. There is not one thing in this movie that convinced me it could be real. The very first interview with the “real” pale & lifeless Dr. Tyler felt like I was watching an actress. The “archival footage” of people under hypnosis goes way too far and becomes too dramatic to be authentic. As I sat there in the theater, bored out of my mind, I wondered to myself if anyone in the theater was actually buying into any of this. My question was answered when during one of the more ridiculous segments of “actual footage” of a guy floating, someone yelled out "this is bull s@#$". After another ridiculous scene people started laughing. You’d have to be pretty stupid to believe any of the “real footage”. This will not go down alongside Blair Witch Project or Paranormal Activity as that rare scary movie that people believed could be real. The trailer is creepier than the entire movie. This movie really sucks… don’t waste your time.
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
REVIEW: District 9
![]() | STARRING: Sharlto Copley |
The summer movie season got off to a good start with Wolverine and Star Trek but quickly fizzled. I was intrigued by the trailer for District 9, which does what a good trailer is supposed to do. It only gives you a taste of what the movie is going to be about, instead of giving away parts of the best scenes. Although I was intrigued, after the disappointment I’ve experienced this summer I wasn’t about to get my hopes up too high. After all, District 9 didn’t have any known actors and only a $30 million budget (GI Joe cost $175 million). The only thing the movie had going for it on paper was producer Peter Jackson (Lord of the Rings). It turns out that District 9 has a lot more going for it than what you see on paper. I left the theater excited by having seen a great movie that exceeded all my expectations.
Wikus steals some alien weaponry that was being hoarded by a Nigerian gang, and then the film kicks into overdrive. Wikus and his new alien friend Christopher attack MNU headquarters to retrieve the device, which it turns out is fuel. Then they must fend off an all out military assault, and a Nigerian gang assault, when they get back to District 9. What was a serious character driven film turns into a kick-ass action movie for the final act. But all the action has a purpose and I really cared about who was going to live and who was going to die. District 9 brilliantly draws you into the story and makes you care about the characters before blowing you away with the action.
The special effects are seamless. I don’t know how they managed such stellar special effects on a $30 million budget. The final battle is more intense and well done than what I have seen in movies that cost 5 or 6 times as much.
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
REVIEW: The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard
![]() | STARRING: Jeremy Piven, Ving Rhames |
When a failing auto dealership needs a big 4th of July weekend of sales to avoid going out of business, they call in the best team of used car liquidators that money can buy. Led by Don Ready (Piven), this team of used car salesmen promises to train the current staff and sell every single car on the lot by the end of the weekend. They sell cars by day and party at strip clubs by night. They use every dirty trick in the book to sell cars. While Don Ready and his crew are ripping off the public and selling cars, there are also subplots involving possible romances between Don and the auto dealership owner’s daughter, a female member of Don’s crew and the owners’ 10 year old son that looks like an adult, and the owner himself and another one of Don’s male crew members. The latter two subplots are particularly awful.
The only good thing this movie has going for it is the cast. Piven is basically playing Ari Gold selling cars, and he’s good at that character. Ving Rhames, David Koechner, and Kathryn Hahn make up his crew and they do the best they can with the material. They take a lot of bad jokes, and at least deliver them in a way that makes you smile. Otherwise, this movie is easily forgettable. It’s filled with gay jokes, pedophile jokes, racial stereotypes, and general silliness. They must have spent the entire budget on the cast, and nothing on the writing. This film is further proof that you can’t simply take a popular TV character and basically throw him into a movie and it will turn out good. If Piven wants to be a big movie star he is going to have to step out of his comfort zone a little bit and look for a good script. Wait for cable to watch this sorry movie.
Wednesday, August 5, 2009
REVIEW: A Perfect Getaway
![]() | STARRING: Steve Zahn, Milla Jovovich |
Cliff & Cydney find some comfort and fun hiking with another couple they meet along the trail, Nick (Timothy Olyphant) and Gina (Kiele Sanchez). Nick is ex-military and has all kinds of strange survival stories. When he slaughters a goat and Gina skins it, Cliff & Cydney begin to suspect their new friends may be the killers. But with nowhere to go, the couples must hike together to civilization, and the hitchhikers may be following them. The last couple of miles become the longest miles, as the trip quickly becomes a literal fight for survival.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
REVIEW: Bruno
![]() | STARRING: Sacha Baron Cohen |
Although I was not a big fan of Borat, I did like the idea behind it, which is also the idea behind this movie. The idea is to take an outrageous character and put him in real life situations to see how people react and to expose their prejudices. In the case of Bruno, the idea is to expose how people would react to such an outrageous gay character. The funniest example is when Bruno shows up on a talk show with his African son that he obtained in an exchange for an iPod. The all-black audience is hilariously outraged. Another funny moment is when Bruno shows up at a swingers party, attempting to hide his homosexuality. And prejudices are fully exposed when Bruno reveals his homosexuality inside the cage of a Mixed Martial Arts event.
The problem with Bruno is that the funny moments are few and far between, even though the film is only 80 minutes. The movie hits some disgusting low points when it veers off its mission in order to delve into Bruno’s sexual practices. I really don’t know how this film managed to obtain an ‘R’ rating. I had to look away from the screen at times. The film tries too hard to be outrageous and shocking, instead of simply letting the real life situations generate the laughs. With a movie like Bruno you can’t help but wonder how much was real and how much was staged, but ultimately the movie will be judged by how funny it is. The few high points don’t outweigh the disgusting lows. Wait for this one to come on cable. You will know in the first 10 minutes whether or not you can stomach this movie or simply want to change the channel.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
REVIEW: Drag Me To Hell
![]() | STARRING: Alison Lohman, Justin Long |
After the opening sequence there is no doubt as to the purpose of the film’s title. A young boy stole a necklace from a gypsy and had been cursed back in 1969. The scene ends with the boy literally being dragged to hell. It was surprising, as kids don’t usually get killed off in movies. The scene switches to the present day, where Christine Brown (Alison Lohman) is an L.A. loan officer vying for a promotion to an assistant manager position. Her boss tells her that she must show him that she is willing to make the tough decisions. A sick old woman named Mrs. Ganush happens to come into the bank on the wrong day. She needs an extension on her home loan, but Christine denies her the extension to prove that she is capable of making the tough decisions. This turns out to be a big mistake, as the old woman attacks Christine in the parking lot and puts a curse on her. Christine and her unbelieving boyfriend Clay (Justin Long) visit a psychic who tells Christine about the curse that has been put on her. Christine will be haunted by a demon for three days, after which time she will be dragged to hell. The clock is ticking as she attempts to fight back against the demon using the same Psychic who failed to save the boy back in 1969.
Drag Me To Hell isn’t the kind of intense horror film I was expecting. It’s much more fun than I could have imagined. The scene where Christine is attacked in the parking lot is tense, frightening, and hilarious at the same time. A séance sequence is another unforgettable combination of scares and laughs. Alison Lohman does a great job as Christine, going from a mild mannered loan officer to a “bad ass” willing to do whatever it takes to fight this demon. I’ve heard that some of Raimi’s previous horror films also have this blend of horror and comedy, but it was a completely new experience for me. This is the kind of movie that works best as a shared experience in a crowded theater. The film takes a simple plot and does a lot with it, forcing the audience to react countless times. I see so many movies that I forget a lot of what I see. There are scenes in Drag Me To Hell that I may never forget, and that’s the sign of a great movie. See this one opening weekend. Even if you are the type of person that doesn't generally like horror you should give this one a try.





